Archive for the Book Reviews

That ought to grab someone’s attention. The idea grabbed mine when speaking to Amy Ferris the other day. She’s the author of a book I just love called, Marrying George Clooney, 3 A. M. Musings from a Midlife Crisis. It’s a gem of honesty, humor, sadness, more honesty, and a thorough introduction to this lovely woman’s heart and mind.

Amy is kicking off the Midlife Women’s Expert Series I’m hosting in September and we got on the phone to get to know one another a bit. I knew from her book that I wanted her insights and brilliance. What I didn’t know was just how powerfully aligned she is with my mission to help women. She is driven to help women step into their power and lubricate their lives with joy.

That’s how we got to lube jobs. Amy said she thought that women were suffering not just from dryness “down there”, (ok she said vaginal, I’m still 12 and cant’ say that word in public) they are suffering an emotional dryness as well. Naturally the solution that came to mind was lubricant. What would it be for the heart and soul? Joy. Speaking our minds about what bugs us. Stop being our mothers. Really support one another. Take our dream out of the drawer where it has been hidden for so long and see it as possible. Yes, at this age. Whatever age you are right now reading this. It’s not too late to feel joy, to experience the satisfaction and exhilaration of doing what lubricates you.

We want to remind you that

a) You are ok. Do you feel that way?

b) You are not alone. Who supports you, allows you to be who you are with all your faults and quirks? Who is your tribe?

c) Nothing is impossible. Nothing, period. The dreams you have were given to you because they are a part of your possibilities.

d) The lube is inside all you need is something to invigorate you, something to jazz you to the core.

What is that one thing?

There is no more important work in my humble opinion for us to do at this time of life but answer those questions.

And raise more questions. Not the limiting ones like “how do I do this” or “how much will it cost me?” “How will I feel when I get there?” is a much better question. How will you feel if you never even give it a try?

Amy and I will be discussing these and other juicy topics on September 8th. I hope you’ll join us.

Meanwhile, grab her book. I bet you’ll see yourself in there and be reminded that you are not alone.

I’m honored to share Diane’s thoughts with you here. Yesterday I introduced Diane by talking about her new novel, The Season of Second Chances and her non-fiction book, The New American Wedding.

A bit about Diane and why I think she’s a great example of the richness midlife can hold.

In 1979, Diane Meier launched her own marketing firm, MEIER, Inc. In the thirty years at the helm, she has set the look and strategy for countless luxury brands and products such as Elizabeth Arden, Neiman Marcus, Saks Fifth Avenue, and DeBeers.  She married and divorced and built a rich life for herself in New York City and Connecticut.  At an age where she was comfortable and content with her life and not necessarily looking for anything, new opportunities found her.  She remarried to the writer Frank Delaney, decided to write a novel, restored her house, and began an even richer second act to her life.

I asked Diane to share some thoughts on her transition from style maven to book author while trying to figure out how best to communicate her love and commitment in the form of ceremony to the man she was planning to marry. Here is what she wrote:

Authentic Style: Fiction and Non

“Even though I’d thrown parties for our advertising and marketing clients for more than twenty years, when Frank and I were married in 2002, I did what every bride seems to do – I went out and bought every single book and magazine about weddings I could get my hands on. And after thousands of pages and layers of advice, it was clear to me that there was nothing in any of these books designed for us. Frank was not young, nor American, nor new to the game. I was neither blushing nor wasp-waisted.  And the idea of someone ‘giving me away’ was, quite frankly, appalling. I have to admit to feeling a confusing bit of shame. Maybe if there was nothing appropriate for us in any of these books, our getting married in a public celebration wasn’t appropriate either.  Frank would have none of that, I’m delighted now to report, and with no help from any magazine or book, we planned our idea of the perfect wedding –  an American Country Fair  — to welcome him to this country, to rejoice with our community, and to show his European and UK friends just how America celebrates.   It couldn’t have been better.

But the week after the wedding I set out to discover, like the marketer I am, just how out-of-step we were – a middle-aged couple, blending families, cultures and unlimited joy – in not finding coverage in a media category so crowded as to be over-stuffed.  Surely we weren’t the only ones. Instinct and experience told me otherwise.  I began to set up interviews, and a thousand conversations and survey-forms later, I narrowed it to one hundred face-to-face meetings, and then twelve couples, chosen to illustrate what became my first book, The New American Wedding.  Ritual and Style in a Changing Culture.

What I found out was so much more important than anything a Wedding Magazine would ever tell you about ‘trends’.  Because this culture was so quickly evolving – with first time brides and grooms a decade older than couples marrying just a generation ago; because about a third of all weddings were not first-time weddings for one or both of the couple; because the number of brides and grooms over-forty was higher last year than ever before – in history; because we were blending families and races and religions; and perhaps because there was no guidebook – as a nation, we had discovered new and expansive ways to express ourselves in ceremony and celebration.  How marvelous and life-enhancing it was.

And for me, the idea and importance of “authentic style” was truly brought home.  Some of the healthiest and happiest couples I met were those who weren’t driven in any way by trends or status, but by knowing and displaying their own values and ideals. By understanding their own hearts. And by realizing that this important day would be most generously shared if they gave of themselves in a personal example of style and standards their community would find no where else.

Talk about “mid-life with a vengeance” –  there, in my early fifties, emerged a book.  Printed and bound, illustrated and cataloged, and available at your library and Amazon, if not your local bookshop.  Some people made surprising note of the fact that at my age a new frontier could be broached. Were they the same people who seemed amazed that I would fall in love at an ‘advanced’ age?  Not to mention marry? Well, we did them one better. A month ago my first novelwas published as the lead book for Spring from Henry Holt.

The Season of Second Chances is about a middle-aged woman, an ivy-league college professor, who has not found much comfort in life.  When she gets a chance to start work at a new college, in a new town, with a tumble-down Victorian house that needs absolutely everything to save it, she finds at last, a reflection of her life and values. Self-expression, I get to explain once again, is its own reward.  It’s a lesson I probably knew from my own childhood, but I certainly heard it loud and clear, as couples all across America showed me how they presented their lives to their families and friends, and served it all up for joyous celebration.

A house becomes another chance to do exactly that.  And I think we’ve all felt the difference between a house, no matter how lovely, and a truly authentic home – one that reflects and enhances the lives lived-well within its walls.  I’m here to cheer you on to make sure that your home is such a reflection. I promise you, it’s not about money or status. Not at all. It’s about taste and style and personal awareness, and confidence and clear-eyed values and thoughtful, intentional design.

To miss these chances of celebration and self-expression is to miss nothing less than the texture of life, and to misunderstand how your unique idea of joy or warmth or beauty is the most important gift you can share.  The only thing, really – only you — no one else –  can give.

I loved writing both of these books, and in retrospect, I recognize how very much alike they are.  Both fiction and nonfiction. Makes sense, I suppose –  and it all supports my theory — the thing they have in common, is uniquely — me.”

Thank you so much Diane for taking time to give us these bits of your wisdom. The italics and bolding above are mine. The point was so lovely and important for us to embrace that I had to make sure you didn’t miss it. I look forward to your next book and please feel free to stop by anytime with more of your thoughts on the richness of midlife.

Book reviews used to be a regular part of my newsletter until last year. I never knew if people read them, wanted to read them, found them useful. I still read works of fiction, non-fiction, self-help type, lifestyle programs, and books that feature midlife or boomer as the target or subject and I miss sharing my favorites. So today I’m officially bringing back the book review. I may do an excerpt in the newsletter with a link to come here for the whole review.

The Season of Second Chances came to be by chance. I was contacted by a PR person who included the press release in an email. I read it through, it didn’t grab me. Another email arrived offering a copy of the book. I reconsidered as I was out of reading material on the beside table. The book arrived and the design of the jacket, continued in style on the inner cover pages promised something lovely to come. I knew little about this story save what the press release told me: “is a tale of one woman’s unexpected encounter with her true self and proof that second chances are waiting to be discovered within all of us. Meier’s debut helps readers understand that when one lets change into his or her life, it has the power to set them free.”

So, is this a coach’s dream story or what? I also knew there was an old house to be remodeled and that Joy, the main character was a New Yorker about to take leave of her life there. The books opening words, spoken by Joy, “It takes a keen eye to tell a false start from a dead end. I wanted out. I wanted somewhere else, anywhere else.” hooked me.

For the next couple of weeks I read each night fighting between wanting to read more and not wanting the story to end. Ms. Meier’s writing is as real as sitting across the table from a friend.

This is not a sappy Lifetime Channel soap opera where every aspect of Joy’s new life is easy to navigate, nor are any of the characters without traits you’d like to cull, for their sake. In other words, it’s a set of real people faced with real sometimes harrowing situations. In order to grow we must be stretched and sometimes we find we’ve created that stretching situation comfort zone be damned.

Diane Meier has also written a nonfiction book titled The New American Wedding: Ritual and Style in a Changing Culture. It’s a book about creating something meaningful, stylish and appropriate for adults, many of whom will be doing this for the second time. Most of what a first time, often young person’s wedding represents does not apply later on in life. Let me quote Diane from an email she sent:

“I set out to find couples who had tackled that very issue, designing meaningful and integrated rituals, based expressing on their own authentic values.  It was one of the most wonderful and enriching experiences of my life. And I think it really reinforced or focused the idea that developing a way of personally expressing ourselves —  in style — is about as important a mission as we have here.  Not money. Not fashion. Style.”

What a great gift for midlife couples looking to create something the fits, that speaks to their style and their place in a newly joined community. You can find signed copies from the Hickory Stick Bookshop in Washington, CT.

Tomorrow Diane will be my guest in this space to talk about midlife–her version of living with a vengeance was to marry “at a certain age” and publish not one but two books. I think you’ll enjoy her thoughts on style, writing, and being willing to be open.

Meanwhile if you want a great read I recommend you pick up a copy of The Season of Second Chances.

PS I have no idea why I couldn’t increase the above font size back to the original I use and not have it turn brown with links that don’t look live. Anyone who wants to enlighten me is welcome.

My colleague Eileen Williams is the creator of a blog and radio show called, The Feisty Side of Fifty. Love that name. And it suits her. She’s high spirited, sassy, and definitely living her second half with a vengeneance. (Check out her psychedelic T-shirts)

Eileen’s has finally packaged her twenty years’ combined experience as a job search specialist, career/life transition counselor, university instructor, and writer into career counseling session in work book form. It could not have come at a better time. I asked her to talk a bit about her new book and wondered if there are any bright spots on the horizon for midlife job seekers in this current–and eternal I think– youth obsessed  age.

What follows are Eileen’s thoughts.

Midlife With a Vengeance is all about wellbeing and thriving as we age. Gregory Anne consistently provides us with a wealth of information to keep our bodies and minds active and energetic. In truth, radiant health should be at the top of each of our lists. However, even if our bodies are healthy and strong, it’s hard to feel our best if we’re unemployed and feeling discouraged about future job prospects.

Day after day, we’re bombarded with depressing news: the job market is described with words such as “bleak,” “slow to recover,” and “with limited prospects.” This, we’re told, is especially true for the older applicant.

Despite what we hear, this is NOT the case. Older workers have plenty to offer: great experience, highly developed skills, a mature work ethic, and a substantial network of coworkers, clients, and customers. Nevertheless, older jobseekers do have certain challenges in knowing how to market themselves in today’s competitive job market. The job search has changed tremendously over the past several years and, if you’re not up on the latest, you’ll be left in the dust.

As a job search specialist with twenty years’ experience assisting thousands of midlife applicants find work, I wanted to help. So I wrote a book sharing key insider techniques that will make a huge difference in getting a job. Following the suggestions in Land The Job You Love: 10 Surefire Strategies for Jobseekers Over 50, now available on Amazon, is guaranteed to save you time, money, and loads of frustration.

Remember the good news—the workforce is aging. Workers over fifty represent one of the fastest growing labor groups in the country and you’ll fit right in. But to stand out as the candidate of choice, you’ll need to know the Surefire Strategies:

•              The proven formula to best articulate your skill sets and back them up with winning examples of you performing your work at its best.

•              The most effective method to use personal contacts to network your way into targeted organizations where you’ll build key alliances in your search.

•              The very best resume format for older applicants and how to highlight critical skills and accomplishments so that they literally leap off the page.

•              How to prepare for and ace the interview: the all important first impression, knowing how to answer questions to peak the interviewer’s interest, handling behavioral style questions, and getting the job offer.

•              The strategies to negotiate a win/win deal.

Armed with the right information, job search strategies that really work, and a winning attitude, you’ll be amazed at how quickly your search will progress. So don’t get discouraged by the news—take action! Before you know it, you’ll be telling your friends just how you landed the job you love!

Mary Eileen Williams, M.A., NCC has twenty years’ combined experience as a job search specialist, career/life transition counselor, university instructor, and writer. She also has a popular blog and radio show called, Feisty Side of Fifty. Get your copy of Land the Job You Love on Amazon.