Archive for the Note From Greg
Yesterday while slogging through some miles on the treadmill I glanced up at one of the gym TV monitors where CNN and MSNBC were playing side by side. One was droning on about the FDA and cigarettes, noteworthy to be sure but I’d exhausted that story earlier. What grabbed my attention was the story and live feed of the elder George Bush flying through the air with a parachute on, sky diving (in tandem with one of the Army’s Golden Knights) to celebrate his 85th birthday. Wow!
He did the same for his 80th, 75th and plans to do it for his 90th. When asked why he did it he said, ”It’s a great, exhilarating feeling,” He told reporters that he jumped Friday for two reasons: to experience the exhilaration of free-falling and to show that seniors can remain active and do fun things.
“Just because you’re an old guy, you don’t have to sit around drooling in the corner,” Bush said. “Get out and do something. Get out and enjoy life.”
Amen to that! The story also pointed out that non of his children, nor his wife, the fairly cool Barbara Bush approve of this kind of thing. Thankfully old George has learned a few important lessons along the way, the most important perhaps being that we each come here to have our own experiences, ones we are drawn to and choose. They include all of our many selves–wife, mother, aunt, teacher, risk taker, mountain climber, bon bon popper. Some we try on and realize there isn’t a fit and others we become fully and for a good portion of our lives. One-offs like the occasional sky dive, deep sea diving, speeding around hair pin turns on a motorcycle, serial dating for the fun of it, are all just experiences or a stand-in for the feeling produced by certain activities that our inner self wants to experience.
If you haven’t gotten this yet, read, re read and repeat out loud–I am here to do what I want, to have the experiences I came to have, I will not allow anyone to stop me from having these moments. I’m not suggesting irresponsible behavior and throwing everyone else under the bus–unless the need to break away is calling you. (Tricky isn’t it?)
Do you have a list of things you feel deeply about experiencing? If not, walk around with a small notepad and write them down as they come up or take some time to make the list. If one speaks really loudly to you, such as say, leaping out of a plane for your 45th, 55th, or 85th birthday, I’d call around til you find the perfect place to do just that. You don’t need anyone’s permission. Act presidential. Oh, and make sure you pay extra for the picture. You want to give the naysayers something to be envious of.
If it were not for good friends we’d all be less able to cope, our brains would be shrinking, and our life would be shortened. According to a study out of Australia reported earlier this year, the kinds of social ties and relationships we have matter.
Researchers at the Centre for Ageing Studies at Flinders University in Adelaide, Australia concluded that a network of good friends is more likely than close family relationships to increase longevity in older people.
What Makes the Longevity Study Significant?
According to Lynn Giles, one of the four researchers who published the report, there is nothing new about evidence showing that social networks increase longevity, but ALSA went a few steps farther.
“What hasn’t been done before is to break down which social networks might be most beneficial,” Giles said in a statement published on the Flinders University web site.
“It looks as if friends are the most important in terms of survival.”
I’m sure you didn’t need a reason to keep in touch with good friends but it’s nice to know that we get the bonus of a better quality of life from seeking out the easy-let-your-hair-down-belly-laughter-producing-shoulder-to-cry-on-as needed conversations that only happen with good, close friends.
I don’t know if it’s friends day or not but all hail those who hold us dear–crabby, happy, fat, thin, bad or good hair days and even during those times when our life choices are less than stellar.
Thank you friends for being there for me throughout the years, and please don’t be a stranger–I miss you when were not in contact.
Old Friends Sam, Chris and Alex
The past couple of posts here have been about the importance of setting goals you love vs setting shoulds. Now I’m not totally against the idea of should, as in “I should go to the gym cause I said I would go on Thursday and I’m a person of my word” but “I will eat more vegetables because I should” does not inspire. Without inspiration there can be no sustained action or spinach eating.
A quick review, the first step I spoke about was to take some time to write the brain dump of “what I want to do this year or someday.” You can read the post–it’s just 2 below this one– if you want to details of the exercise and I encourage you to do it if you are looking to make some changes this year and so far your goals are a drag.
If you did the exercise you now have a page or more–a few lines perhaps–of things you’d like to do, be or have. Now you are going to pick out the things that feel urgent or intriguing. You’ll want another blank sheet of paper. Read through your list, what pops out at you?
Want to do a half marathon? Move that item the other piece of paper. Want to change jobs? Move that as well. But only move the items that really move you, grab you, make you smile or well up with tears. The goals you want to end up with are those that YOU
feel connected to. Don’t be concerned about how. Just follow your gut and move an item or a few items on to the new sheet.
If one of your brain dump items is “get healthy or lose weight” but that idea doesn’t grab you don’t put it on the goals worksheet. Take that item and go deeper. If “lose weight” sounds like the same old thing you won’t stick to, dig out what’s behind that idea. “Feel better in my clothes,” feel more confident cause I like the way I look,” “workout without getting so out of breath,” these are some of the heart felt whys behind the uninspiring concepts like losing weight or eating better.
If you can get to the emotion and feelings behind the same old words you have a better chance of realizing a goal. What would it mean to you if you felt comfortable in your clothes, felt comfortable at the gym, felt good about your choices? I’d wager to say it would be a priceless feeling and would open up all sorts of time and energy for the other things that you want to do be or have.
Do that much and let me know if this is working or makes sense. If you have questions, comments, ahas or stories to share please leave them in a comment. We all benefit from hearing each other’s stories.
More to come tomorrow.
If you’ve never read my newsletter you might want to check it out with this link. This month I review a book that I think should be in every midlife woman’s healthy reference library. The Smart Woman’s Guide to Midlife and Beyond
There are recipes, a Q & A on cold and flu prevention as well as the main article which will show you why your dreams are achievable even if they seem crazy.
Take a look, pass it along if you know other women who you think might benefit and leave me a comment on what helped or questions you might have.
Hope it’s a great weekend!
