Archive for the Self care
My little sister is 47. She’s a healthy person for the most part and til last Tuesday she suffered terribly each month with almost hemmorrage-like periods due to fibroids. Just like big sis here. Ten years ago I had a partial hysterectomy–newly renamed by my sister’s fabulous friend Frannie as “uterectomy”–and it changed my life for the better.
The concept of voluntarily giving up one’s uterus–to improve quality of life– is considered rational by some and a sin to others. Oprah magazine ran a long piece years ago on the evils of hysterectomy–no, really, the author, a woman, purported that this surgery was evil. There are organizations to highlight said evils and forums, including one I looked at before writing this post, at O magazine, with pages of hysteria from women who sound like god squad missionaries only in this case, a safe, routine, personal choice type of surgery is the devil.
When I was thinking of having my uterus removed so that I would no longer have to suffer days of bleeding–and bleeding through all manner of protection– kidney infections because one large fibroid sat on a ureter, back pain, a bulging stomach, and feeling like crap for 10 days every month + anemia, I spent about 6 months reading the science and considering the spiritual side compliments of Dr. Christine Northrup. I worked with an Oriental Med doc. to shrink the fibroids, balance my chi and my hormones, come to terms with the idea of not having a child etc. Once the decision was made to remove fibroids and uterus but keep the cervix and ovaries, I felt such relief I can’t tell you.
Plenty of male friends working the medical field said I should “take it all out” to prevent cancer. Huh? Do we remove layers of skin just in case we might get cancer? Would they have their bits cut off to prevent testicular cancer? I think not. Plus I wanted the protection of my hormones so I’d need ovaries to have that. I wanted the sexual benefits of keeping my cervix so I’d have to have one. Sis came to the same conclusions so off she went and I signed on to head down to Maryland to help with her many animals, make food, pour wine–if needed for pain of course.
Her C-section like surgery was so seamless that she sat in the car, the day after when she got released, for a couple of hours so she and Frannie could grab me from the airport vs me getting a cab. (No doubt the half life of morphine had not yet run out)
Fannie and a bit of Tonka
The next day she was up, slowly shuffling around. We giggled, caught up on reruns of Bones and House, ate delicious healthy meals, and day by day she got stronger. She napped a lot and while she did I had the consummate pleasure of walking her 3 pit bull rescues–that’s Fannie in the photo with me–in the woods behind her house. There are trails that go on for miles and the weather was delicious. Being a cat person who loves dogs I enjoyed playing this way.
By day 6 post surgery, Lex realized she no longer had back pain which used to wake her up at night, demanded tylenol extra strength daily, and made her work life uncomfortable due to sitting.
To the many women who feel worse after their hysterectomy than better, perhaps the surgery isn’t responsible.
And to the women who rail against choice of any kind that affects only the person making said choice, perhaps you can take that power back and use it to take care of what’s not working in your own life.
How my sister will feel long term remains to be seen but the prognosis is good.
If you or anyone you know is considering this route to improve their quality of life I say, banish any guilt that it’s an “easy way out” or that you are screwing with what’s natural. Taking an aspirin is screwing with what’s natural it’s also helpful when one has a headache. Check in with you, not the forums. Do the home work on what kinds of surgery there are and interview surgeons–don’t just take the first one you are passed along to by your insurance company unless you feel really comfortable with this person.
How you spend your second half is up to you. Now more than ever, do what feels right even if “they” say it’s not.
Last Wednesday I held one of my Secrets To Making Midlife Weight Loss Easier Classes. I’ve learned so much since the first one last January and wanted to update the info.
One of the things we talked about was exercise–of course–and what kinds of exercise are better than others. (Did you know that too much aerobic exercise could actually be counterproductive?) Those of us who love the stair master or treadmill only work muscles in the front of our legs for the most part. It’s important to work all the sets of complimentary muscles to avoid injury. One way to do this if you don’t want to keep track is do yoga regularly. Why? Because yoga uses the whole body to balance in postures and an asana isn’t considered complete until it has been done with both sides of the body.
What I’m always thankful for while twisting pretzel like and trying to remember to breath is that it’s a practice. I practice things I’ve heard over and over as I reach for that little bit more opening in my spine or shoulders. I don’t feel badly that I am not further along. So why do I do that in life? Why do any of us? Are we not always learning even when we have accomplished a level of mastery? Of course we are. If not, how boring. I’m not going to say I’d like things to move faster at times or results to show up on demand; I’d love to have that much mastery over my daily routine.
As I’m feeling the burn in my arms while in downward facing dog or my shoulders in fish pose I realize at times in my day to day, I give in before the burn gets too bad. In class I’m not likely to do that, in part because there is an instructor coaching us to hold on. Even so it reminds me that next time something feels awkward or hard, if I hold on, I might get that result faster or learn that next level of skill I’ve been wanting.
Yoga on the mat is about expansion, balance, loving yourself and reflecting that love outwards. We are encourage to live the same way “off the mat.” I’m thrilled that yoga is a good way to strengthen all of my physical muscles. The bonus, I’m learning, is how it strengthens my emotional and mental ones too.
How has yoga helped you?
The other day I had a good portion of my annual physical exam. My doctor spent an hour with me–yes, an hour. We talked about all manner of health related things from my supplements to sex, how my marriage was, to what I was eating these days. When he read over the list-and it’s long–of supplements I take he noticed I’d forgotten fish oil and CoQ10. I take them, he wanted to be sure.
He is a family medicine guy who started studying functional medicine a number of years ago because the western model as it was didn’t allow him to fully engage his patients own inner body wisdom. He wanted to be proactive vs reactive. It took me awhile to find him and how I got here was because I was looking for someone who really understood bio identical hormone replacement and supplements. I spoke to about 25 doctor’s office nurses and some docs before finding Dr. Aponte. It didn’t matter he’s a man, I have a great NP who I see for my gyno stuff.
When I told him I felt blessed to have such a well informed care giver who was willing to listen and focus on me while there he told me this, “The thing I hate most is interrupting patient care and sometimes it just can’t be avoided. You I see only once per year for the most part and I want to be sure I hear from you how you are not just from the tests we perform.” Wow.
It makes the annual thing a pleasure, but I’d go regardless. Before I had Dr. A, I used to do the annual thing and add check marks on the blood work form that my otherwise smart doc didn’t believe in that I knew were important “at my age.” The markers of inflammation like CR-P, Lp l (a), Homocysteine, fibrinogen, the subsets of cholesterol vs just LDL and HDL are all considered the basics if you want to have a more complete picture of your heart health. I’ve had a colonoscopy a few years ago, last year I had a stress test, and a couple of years ago a DEXA scan.
JJ Virgin says, “Don’t guess, test.” My sentiments exactly. I want to know where I am–even when I feel really good and it’s check up time–because sometimes the markers of disease are silent in the early stages. I don’t want that kind of surprise one day. But if I should get one–a disease that is–I’m more than thrilled to know I took the time to find a practitioner I trust and feel I am a partner with in my health care.
Do you know your numbers? Are you happy with your doc? If not, how about getting that on the old to do for you list? It’s the most important one you know.
