The first step in setting goals that you love, that excite you, and that you are likely to reach boomer women, is to dream a little. Something busy solopreneurs rarely take time to do.

This step also requires a piece of paper, some quiet time, and a juicy, stress relieving “shut up!” directed at the editor, the little voice, the fear based, freaked out, comfort zone protector we all have running constantly in our brains. 

Once you are comfortable and ready to go your assignment is this: write down anything that comes to mind that you would love to see happen or become a part of your life. No boundaries, no limits, no “how will I?”s just write til you have emptied your head of the ideas that are swirling around craving recognition. Somewhere in the chaos are the gems of your particular dreams which match your talents that it’s time to get on with. If you don’t immediately see the value in this exercise, do it anyway, you  might be surprised.

Remember, this is not a goal creation list, it’s the first step and a process to help you see ideas you might not have if you just sat down and started with 1. Lose weight, 2. stop procrastinating etc. Besides, do those sound like goals you could fall in love with? 

Once your brain feels empty, put the list or lists down. That’s all you have to do for today. Tomorrow you’ll go back to the list–or at least wait a few hours–you’ll pick the paper up and look at it with a view to finding the clues to what you really want to take on, change, create, enjoy, add or subtract from your current day to day.

Play with this, have fun with it, who cares if “ride a camel” comes up and you have no idea why or where it goes in terms of the next 12 months. I’ve had “ride an elephant” on my wish list for years and it stays there because it’s something I really want to do, it’s just not a priority yet. One year “leave the restaurant business” came up and onto my list and I had no idea why or how I’d do that but here I am, some years later, a certified coach, speaking, writing, enjoying all sorts of things I couldn’t imagine the “how” of back then. When I saw it on paper though, I knew this idea meant business and my mind set about looking for the answer to “how?”

Let me know if you use this tool to get started planning a new year or new project even. If not, how do you get started creating goals you can fall in love with vs goals that feel like shoulds?

When you wrote down, or declared your goals/resolutions, did they excite you? Did you feel energized by the very thought of making more money, getting in shape, changing your eating program? I didn’t hear a rousing chorus of “Amen sister.” Do your goals and intentions for a better you feel like shoulds vs must-haves-gotta-dos-cant’-waits-wanna-get-started-nows? Hmm, “Houston, we have a problem.”

The problem is that without a positive emotion the best intentions in the world won’t get you anywhere. Why? Because we are sentient, that is, feeling beings. Our feelings move us. In order to get out of our comfort zones we must feel some excitement for the thing that isn’t comfortable.

This isn’t all though, we must have some accountability and a plan. So here’s what I’m going to do and I’ve got some homework for you. In the next week I’m going to write 7 tips to help you set goals  you can be excited about.  I’m also going to recommend some accountability tools–some of which are free, all of which I know to be powerful.

Here is your homework. Review your last 12 months looking for the successes. What a concept huh? Instead of focusing on what you didn’t get done dig around for what you learned, what you did accomplish, who you loved, what surprised you, the sunsets that delighted you, the dress or pants you wore that made you feel al-that-and-a-bag-of-chips. I’d write them down if you want to get the most from this exercise. As you remember these positive moments of the past year I want you to remember how you felt. Write that down too.

That’s it, this is a very strong place to start to fashion a plan for creating what you want your new year to look and feel like.

Let me know what comes up for you in the comment section. Others will benefit from your ahas and realizations as will I.

Like what? Like seeing a book, DVD, or CD series in a store or on a website and even though it’s not something you’d usually be attracted to,  you want to buy and try it. Or you suddenly want to sign up for a support group for changing your eating habits that meets once per week. (”are you nuts” I hear someone scream from the back of the room, “never gonna happen.” But it might if you are open and let go of the controls)

The inspired action is the follow through. 

Well here’s a DVD that I’m excited to see that just might be the tool you need to get you started or help you stay with your chosen program and see even more results. It’s called Think and Get Slim and it’s the latest production from Esther and Jerry Hicks via Abraham. If you are not familiar with the teachings of Abraham be open and check out their website. If you have had the pleasure I encourage you to watch the 10 minute sample from the 2 DVD set. And if you’ve not been to their site in awhile I think you’ll love the new look. Don’t miss the free audio files and comments from Abraham on the state of our economy and more.

Change is all about doing what’s not comfortable at first. And living midlife with a vengeance has plenty of room for good changes and uncomfortable feelings because let’s face it, at this point, most of us are pretty darn comfortable–even if we don’t like the picture we’ve painted. 

If not a new DVD then what’s in your toolbox for creating your best new year?

I am guilty of the gym and yoga pants but mine are fitted. I feel when they feel tight, it moves me out the door to use them for their intended purpose–exercise. It’s all too easy to put on loose clothing every day oblivious to the 2 and then 3 then 4 pounds that are sneaking in to roost.

One night we must show up at a client party or other function and ouch! the fave black pants are snug or the perfect little cocktail dress seems to have been shrunk by the dry cleaner. So we go out in our once comfortable going-out-in-public duds sucking in our gut or sitting “just so” mostly so the seems don’t burst, get through the night, get home, rip these torture devices off and slip silently and blissfully back into our pjs or sweats. 

To lounge at night and sleep, by all means get comfy. But if you are looking for ways to stay on top of holiday fare as it relates to your thighs put on real clothes every morning. If you’ve got to sit at your computer with your muffin top as company you might pass up that chocolate dipped macaroon that’s been calling your name all morning.

It’s a small thing but success in whatever we do is always a series of small things repeated over and over.

Confession #1–I sometimes find myself watching E! or ET while waiting for House to come on. I try to turn away from Donnie and Marie–are they sleeping together?–Britney, Christie, Kelly, and the other celebs and their same old stories, skimpy outfits, and scandals. I fail, with a vengeance. I practice observing without judging. Judging is easy and fun and it may even burn calories so this is not so off topic afterall.

Last night’s 10 minutes brings me to the second confession and it has to do with Oprah. I teared up watching Oprah talk about her weight gain. Once again she has piled on 40 pounds. I wasn’t fighting back a full on sob because of that. Having her stand up and say “I can’t or don’t want to hide this anymore. I have not been taking care of myself” said O. That’s where my heart got pulled in.

She did not say, “I let my job get in the way, I had no time, I have so much stress.” All of those things must be true for her every single day of her  life on view. She said, “I have not been taking care of me.” Not working out, eating foods that do not support health, energy, aging strong and long; these are signs of not caring for oneself.

This is where the sadness came up. I ache for those of us who can’t figure out how to love and care for ourselves especially when the physical manifestation is extra weight. It’s not about the number on the scale though we focus on that. It’s about the number you see yourself as. Say what you want about how it–the weight–doesn’t really matter. I think it really does. I’ve been there. It sucked.

A survey reported in USA Today a number of months ago reported that out of a few thousand average Americans who participated, 80% said the one thing they will regret not doing before they die is losing the weight they want to. 

People, even a loss of a few percent of your total weight improves your life expectancy and healthy aging potential. Not to mention one less thing to regret.

It does not have to be that difficult. Oprah is starting an online program to take off the weight with her. I offer one as well, Spark People has lots of ways to get online and community support. Doesn’t matter who you choose but I encourage you to choose some form of help and then love yourself enough to stay with it.

None of us has extra time at this time of year so working smarter not harder or harder which is smart in the case of our exercise, is the way to go. Yesterday I posted about how important music is for health and for working out. Play up tempo music and you’ll gain endurance which means you can go either harder or longer. When time is short I’m going to go for harder.

On the treadmill I really up the incline once I’m warmed up. Or I do a jog and walk combo–the jog portion is fast enough that it’s not so much fun but not so hard that I might injure myself. I also use the Nordic Trac. It’s a good overall workout and especially when I add some resistance to the glides and arm pullies.

The place I slow down? Weights. I keep the same weight but I go super slow on the release. This will add a little more time to a weight routine but trust me it pays off.

If you are not a gym rat and walking is your thing, power it up by timing yourself with a goal of chopping off a few minutes each time you go out. And if you are using a DVD at home your timing is fixed but if you focus intently on each move you can increase the pay off. Think about your form for each rep or different exercise.

Interval training–short bursts of intensity–mixed with the normal pace or weight has proven benefits both in moving you out of a weight plateau or upping your results.

While this tactic is great for the holidays with more eating and less time to workout it’s also a great habit to create for long lasting results oriented exercise.

What’s your favorite way to blast calories?

 More than likely you know that putting on upbeat music can change your mood. Millions of dollars are spent on movie scores to evoke the “right” emotional response from viewers and shopping malls and coffee bars know that playing music with certain tempos will cause people to buy more but not linger too long.

How do you use music? Are you, like me and smart woman and bff Chris Cavanagh, unable to workout without your favorite beat? Or have you just never gotten around to loading music into an MP3 player or haven’t bought one yet?

 If you are in the latter category girl, hye thee to an electronics store and get thee an iPod!(My personal fave)  Not only does music keep us going longer, with a fast, thumping beat we exercise harder. Is harder better? That’s debatable but for this 50-something, working out til I’m a slippery, soaking dishrag feels good on many levels. Rick’s book can explain why.

On days when I want something a bit more gentle but still productive I pick a playlist I’ve put together that will carry me over the roads and the beach at a clip but not push me. Yoga moves are somehow magically easier to move through when the instructor plays suitable music.

Even when we are not exercising, music that we like–and that’s different for everyone–is good for our heart. And who doesn’t want a happy heart?

What’s on your music player?

I’ve got so many varieties of music and some you might just find appalling. AC/DC and a-Ha share playlists with Chris Boti and Chumbawumba. I’ve got trance, dance, classical, country, soft jazz, rock and disco. 

It would be fun to hear what you’ve got playing in the background.

Now stress alone is a known belly fat creator. Add less-than-needed sleep to the equation and you are asking for weight gain. Can it happen in as short a time as 3 or 4 weeks? Yes and especially when you add more food temptations than normal.

What to do? Go to bed! Turn off the bloody television, it’s not the great relaxer you think it is if you are using it to “wind down.” It actually stimulates certain parts of the brain, making it harder for you to fall asleep. 

Have your last cocktail or peppermint chocolate bar at least an hour-two is better–before you want to fall asleep. While booze may knock you out the effect is temporary and you will probably find yourself awake at 3 or 4 am. If you do sleep through the night I bet you’ll wake up tired.

Digestion take work and if the body is working while you are trying to sleep it can be disruptive.

Late nights, treats and toasts are almost unavoidable at this time of year but staying aware of the importance of sleep and doing what you can to ensure a sound 7 -8 hours can help prevent the holiday 7 or 8.

How do you ensure proper rest during this busy season?

Strategy #1: consider the small numbers and the big picture. By small numbers I mean the 90 calories here–your tall, skinny, gingerbread latte–and the 300 cals there–3 small, homemade pecan diamonds or pieces of fudge that loom and lurk at malls and offices throughout the land. Eat them, enjoy them but keep in mind that small isn’t calorie free and 21 days worth of indulging will add up.

The big picture is the next three weeks. Look at your calendar. Where do you have events, parties, shopping after work and like that? If you will be eating differently–read “more”–and not exercising those days, plan lighter meals and make the days that are free your “must exercise” days.

If you don’t plan to beat this holiday 5 or 7 or 8 (pounds) they will show up, you will feel like you-know-what and the cycle goes unbroken of eat, drink, be merry, be miserable.

So the simple plan includes awareness of the fact that almost every treat imaginable has more calories than you are willing to assign it + planning to work them off or bank calories by eating lighter when you can.

Are you a successfully smart partyer? Share your tricks in a comment.

Yes, the holiday season has officially started bringing with it the once-a-year-only delicious morsels, parties, and longer than usual to-do lists. In our already busy lives, these rituals can squeeze out our much needed exercise program. Skipping exercise is never a good thing but when temptation in the form of food and libations beckon ditching that walk or spin class is the surest way to the Holiday 5. Hate to break it to you, if it was a 5 pound weight gain in our 30’s and 40’s it’s an 8 - 10 pound gain in our 50’s.

Rather than fretting let’s do something different this year. Let’s plan some movement into our month rather than trying to squeeze it in as the days progress. Oh, and if you are of the mindset that “it’s already the end of the year, I’ll just party like it’s 1999, eat what I want, and start my new lifestyle habits in the new year” I have a question for you? How has that kind of thinking worked for you in the past?

Starting on Dec. 1st I’m going to give you tips to party smart and avoid the Holiday 5 (10). I am not asking you to starve, forgo treats, or stay home like Cinderella all season. I’m going to give you easy ways to manage it all and not gain the weight. 
Wouldn’t it be a bonus if you woke up on January 1st feeling like a success before you even looked at your new year creation plan?

I can’t wait to hear your success stories.