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Book reviews used to be a regular part of my newsletter until last year. I never knew if people read them, wanted to read them, found them useful. I still read works of fiction, non-fiction, self-help type, lifestyle programs, and books that feature midlife or boomer as the target or subject and I miss sharing my favorites. So today I’m officially bringing back the book review. I may do an excerpt in the newsletter with a link to come here for the whole review.
The Season of Second Chances came to be by chance. I was contacted by a PR person who included the press release in an email. I read it through, it didn’t grab me. Another email arrived offering a copy of the book. I reconsidered as I was out of reading material on the beside table. The book arrived and the design of the jacket, continued in style on the inner cover pages promised something lovely to come. I knew little about this story save what the press release told me: “is a tale of one woman’s unexpected encounter with her true self and proof that second chances are waiting to be discovered within all of us. Meier’s debut helps readers understand that when one lets change into his or her life, it has the power to set them free.”
So, is this a coach’s dream story or what? I also knew there was an old house to be remodeled and that Joy, the main character was a New Yorker about to take leave of her life there. The books opening words, spoken by Joy, “It takes a keen eye to tell a false start from a dead end. I wanted out. I wanted somewhere else, anywhere else.” hooked me.
For the next couple of weeks I read each night fighting between wanting to read more and not wanting the story to end. Ms. Meier’s writing is as real as sitting across the table from a friend.
This is not a sappy Lifetime Channel soap opera where every aspect of Joy’s new life is easy to navigate, nor are any of the characters without traits you’d like to cull, for their sake. In other words, it’s a set of real people faced with real sometimes harrowing situations. In order to grow we must be stretched and sometimes we find we’ve created that stretching situation comfort zone be damned.
Diane Meier has also written a nonfiction book titled The New American Wedding: Ritual and Style in a Changing Culture. It’s a book about creating something meaningful, stylish and appropriate for adults, many of whom will be doing this for the second time. Most of what a first time, often young person’s wedding represents does not apply later on in life. Let me quote Diane from an email she sent:
“I set out to find couples who had tackled that very issue, designing meaningful and integrated rituals, based expressing on their own authentic values. It was one of the most wonderful and enriching experiences of my life. And I think it really reinforced or focused the idea that developing a way of personally expressing ourselves — in style — is about as important a mission as we have here. Not money. Not fashion. Style.”
What a great gift for midlife couples looking to create something the fits, that speaks to their style and their place in a newly joined community. You can find signed copies from the Hickory Stick Bookshop in Washington, CT.
Tomorrow Diane will be my guest in this space to talk about midlife–her version of living with a vengeance was to marry “at a certain age” and publish not one but two books. I think you’ll enjoy her thoughts on style, writing, and being willing to be open.
Meanwhile if you want a great read I recommend you pick up a copy of The Season of Second Chances.
PS I have no idea why I couldn’t increase the above font size back to the original I use and not have it turn brown with links that don’t look live. Anyone who wants to enlighten me is welcome.
As you will see from the photo of me at the left here rain gear was the name of the game for the MORE Magazine half marathon on Sunday. It rained throughout and it rained hard at times. Needless to say, this was not the easiest half of the four nor was it the hardest. That designation remains with the first one.
My friend Chris and I decided to do one of these while watching the super athletes coming over the 59th street bridge for the NYC marathon about 6 years ago. They were inspiring, we wanted to do something inspiring. I’m happy to report that neither of us had designs on a full marathon. I am sure I don’t have the mental stuff to get to 26.2 miles unless my life depends on it someday. Right after we decided, Chris came across the website and photos from the 2005 MORE half. MORE magazine is for women over 40 so we felt it would be a perfect place to start this adventure. And in 2006 we entered and completed our first half marathon.
Year one we were a hurting mess by the end, but we finished and we crossed the finish line together. The clock read 3 hours 15 minutes. We were thrilled that we were still upright and able to shuffle off to the nearest watering hole for something to eat and drink. We hadn’t trained well and we had not read up on how to fuel ourselves before or after.
Let me just state for the record here, enjoying bloody Mary’s and cheeseburgers perched on a bar stool, medals proudly dangling from our necks was great for about the first 30 minutes. Then the stiffness started to kick in and the booze in the drink did what it would normally do if we’d had like 3–it started to put us to sleep. But hey, we were celebrating. The next day was pretty xcruciating muscle wise having done nothing to counteract the pavement pounding and poor food choices.
Lesson learned for next time. And there have been 3 more next times. Now we train–though we were both behind in logging distance this year–we eat well the night before and have light food after. We reward ourselves and restore our bodies with massages afterwards. We have laughed our way through some serious Russian style hot stone torture for a couple of years but this year Chris was given a gift certificate to a Chopra Spa in the Dream Hotel.
Maybe it was the extra effort required to get over the finish line due to the weather, being cold and soaked will take it’s toll on timing. Maybe it was just time for something new but let me tell you, this massage was maybe the best I’ve ever gotten. And I’m no virgin to the massage table. The exotic scented oils, hot towels, heated shoulder rests, sprays of lavender here and there, very soft lighting and woo woo music all combined to de-stress and de-tangle me.
At times I was really resistant about doing this race. A good friend asked me to consider what it would be like to just not do the half. This question is great when you are on the fence about something and I think I was supposed to end up feeling ok if I said, “You know what? I’m going to bail on you Chris.”
But I decided it wasn’t ok, just not an option for me. It would have been ok with Chris, she said as much when I was whining one day about it. It would not have been ok with me for whatever reason. The reason isn’t clear and doesn’t matter. I wanted to do one more and I wanted to keep my commitment to her and to me.
So it would be my last, that I could live with. 
As I was getting on the bus to head back here to the Hamptons, Chris asked, knowing I was thinking of bringing my half marathoning days to an end, “So, are you in for next year?” With no bloody Mary’s to use as an excuse this time I don’t know what got into me but I said “yea, ok, of course, one more.”
And Monday I cursed that decision with every creaky knee movement. But today is Tuesday. The creaks are gone, the mind is restored and I”m looking at my medal. 
I’m thinking about the other midlife women who dragged their out of shape butts over that line and cried–I did too but just a little–cause it was hard this year and it felt like the best moment of all moments when I ran over that electronic line with people cheering.
I get bragging rights again, that’s great. I get to have had another crazy adventure with my pal and I love that part. Maybe the best thing is I did something I said I would even when I didn’t feel like it. 
One aspect of weight loss and healthy weight maintenance is finding out what our triggers are so we can take control over them vs allowing them to have their wicked ways with us.
How to do that? Well, I’m not an expert in emotional eating but I’m having a call with someone who is.
My colleague Melissa McCreery PhD has agreed to spend an hour with us discussing emotional eating. (we will also have open Q & A)
Melissa has been working with busy, overwhelmed women since 1989 to get at the root of their frustrations surrounding emotional eating.
We start each day with the best of intentions to eat well and eat just enough to feel satisfied. The pressures of the work day, our money situations, clients—you name it, the every day stresses of life have the power to knock us off course. Add to this the hormonal fluctuations of midlife and and without some awareness of what’s going on we are bound to wake up in the middle of a pig out wondering how we got there at some point.
But why does it happen? If you think it would be powerful to know what drives us to power through a bag of chips or nuts or cookies, giving away our power to do what’s more supportive of our intentions, then sign up for the call. In combination Melissa and I are going to inform and answer questions on the things both emotional and physical that cause us to lose control around food to soothe ourselves.
There is no charge for this call and if you can’t be on the call live but want the information, sign up for the recording. Either way you can ask a question at the sign up page.
I look forward to sharing another hour with you and hope you’ll be with us on the call.
Hormones rule, did you know that? I’m not talking just sex hormones though in teenaged boys and middle aged women they are certainly at the top of the pecking order most days.
Everything we eat has a hormonal consequence, some helpful, some down right harmful over the long term.
Insulin is a hormone and is responsible for getting blood sugar somewhere it can be used or stored. Grehlin and leptin are the push me-pull yous of the hunger and satiety dance. These three food related hormones are in direct communication with our other messengers such as glucagon–the fat-burning hormone. Called into action when food is scarce, glucagon converts stored fat into sugar and uses it for energy. These 4 hormones worked in perfect harmony before the introduction of grains and industrial food production when all hormonal hell broke loss. It’s been a steep slide towards disease and women on the verge ever since.
So what can be done? Keep an eye on this blog cause it’s one of missions to let women know about how to eat for hormonal balance, and grab this book if you want some science and some recipes.
Dr. Michael Aziz is an internist with a practice in Manhattan; Midtown Integrative Medicine. Frustrated early on in his medical career that so many young people were coming in with cancers, diabtetes, and allergies that he couldn’t heal as well as all ages of people who had weight issues, he went in search of some answers. What he found was this connection between key hormones and the foods we eat. The main culprits?
Sugar, grains, processed fake foods like margarine, and the endocrine disruptors found in the chemicals used to increase shelf life, texture, color, etc. One of his findings goes along with mine of late–low fat diets are partially at fault in the rise of diabetes, obesity, and hormonal chaos. “The results of the research is clear, eating fat does not make you fat. Rather it’s the lack of natural fats in your diet that makes you gain weight” writes Aziz. He continues, “Natural fats are essential for your cells to work properly. Fats slow down the absorption of food, stabilize blood sugar levels, decrease, cravings, and make you feel full.”
And blood sugar levels will make or break our health over the long haul. I’ve included a link to a 2.5 minute video of Dr. Aziz live, he explains his philosophy and his book a bit more. His solution is an easy, delicious way of eating, protein, fat and fresh fruits, veggies, beans and legumes pretty much.
It’s becoming harder and harder to hide from the latest message on food as medicine–eat what’s natural, eat foods you can recognize as such, don’t fear the fat, and eat organic (meats and dairy) and grass fed (meats) when you can. In case you don’t remember how delicious a dollop of half and half is in your coffee or whole egg poached or fried–it’s The Yumm Factor to the 10s. You may have to let go of some long held beliefs to take on these new ideas but if you find hormonal heaven vs a daily roller coaster from hell, wouldn’t it be worth it?
Dr. Michael Aziz
