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A little happy dance is in order if you fear eating butter, eggs, meat, cheese etc because of their alleged links to heart disease via increased cholesterol. For years I’ve been writing about research on the heath benefits of fats–saturated and otherwise when found naturally in foods–and it’s always heartening when some of the more conservative groups come to the same conclusions. I’m not just a radical butter-loving-nut-promoting-beef-cheese-and-ice-cream-eating midlife crazy. Well maybe I am all of those things but damn, but you can’t accuse me of making up the science.
In the May issue of Dr. Steven Sinatra’s Heart, Health and Nutrition, he shares the findings of a recent meta-analysis on the effects of saturated fat as it relates–or doesn’t–to heart disease and stroke. A meta-analysis is a statistical review of multiple studies. According to Dr. S, “The review, published in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition, crunched numbers from 21 previous studies involving nearly 350,000 adults.
The subjects, basically healthy to start, had all been surveyed about their dietary habits and then monitored for between 5 and 23 years. Researchers concluded there was no difference in the risk of cardiovascular disease between people with the lowest intake of sat fat and those with the highest.”
Now it gets even better:
“However, the study also revealed what dietary factors did contribute to heart disease—namely polyunsaturated vegetable oils and sugars. Canola, corn, safflower, sunflower, and similar vege oils become oxidized when heated and produce harmful trans fats that cause an inflammatory response in the body. Sugars also create dangerous inflammation when consumed in excess.”
Burger anyone? Look saturated fat raises both HDL and LDL cholesterol. The conventional wisdom held that LDL was “bad” for us and so these foods should be eliminated or kept to a minimum. The latest science points to inflammation as the culprit behind most lifestyle diseases–or at least a contributing factor–eliminating the leg to stand on for the argument that foods with saturated fat and by extension, cholesterol, must be banished.
As the veil is lifted on the marketing hype and government influence for gain that brought us to fear certain foods we will no doubt begin to reverse some of the lifestyle diseases such as heart disease and diabetes. If people come back to the table that serves natural meats, fish, and organic dairy–and moves away from foods made in labs, with grains as a base, with oils more suitable for engine lube than human food, then we will see a healthier midlife and beyond.
Never mind midlife, young life, baby life, 20-something lives; all can benefit from staying away from what really makes us fat and unhealthy.
So as the weather warms up and the ice cream store beckons, have some full fat, real ingredients. A little goes a long way in terms of satiety and your heart will thank you in the long run.
I’m honored to share Diane’s thoughts with you here. Yesterday I introduced Diane by talking about her new novel, The Season of Second Chances and her non-fiction book, The New American Wedding.
A bit about Diane and why I think she’s a great example of the richness midlife can hold.
In 1979, Diane Meier launched her own marketing firm, MEIER, Inc. In the thirty years at the helm, she has set the look and strategy for countless luxury brands and products such as Elizabeth Arden, Neiman Marcus, Saks Fifth Avenue, and DeBeers. She married and divorced and built a rich life for herself in New York City and Connecticut. At an age where she was comfortable and content with her life and not necessarily looking for anything, new opportunities found her. She remarried to the writer Frank Delaney, decided to write a novel, restored her house, and began an even richer second act to her life.
I asked Diane to share some thoughts on her transition from style maven to book author while trying to figure out how best to communicate her love and commitment in the form of ceremony to the man she was planning to marry. Here is what she wrote:
Authentic Style: Fiction and Non
“Even though I’d thrown parties for our advertising and marketing clients for more than twenty years, when Frank and I were married in 2002, I did what every bride seems to do – I went out and bought every single book and magazine about weddings I could get my hands on. And after thousands of pages and layers of advice, it was clear to me that there was nothing in any of these books designed for us. Frank was not young, nor American, nor new to the game. I was neither blushing nor wasp-waisted. And the idea of someone ‘giving me away’ was, quite frankly, appalling. I have to admit to feeling a confusing bit of shame. Maybe if there was nothing appropriate for us in any of these books, our getting married in a public celebration wasn’t appropriate either. Frank would have none of that, I’m delighted now to report, and with no help from any magazine or book, we planned our idea of the perfect wedding – an American Country Fair — to welcome him to this country, to rejoice with our community, and to show his European and UK friends just how America celebrates. It couldn’t have been better.
But the week after the wedding I set out to discover, like the marketer I am, just how out-of-step we were – a middle-aged couple, blending families, cultures and unlimited joy – in not finding coverage in a media category so crowded as to be over-stuffed. Surely we weren’t the only ones. Instinct and experience told me otherwise. I began to set up interviews, and a thousand conversations and survey-forms later, I narrowed it to one hundred face-to-face meetings, and then twelve couples, chosen to illustrate what became my first book, The New American Wedding. Ritual and Style in a Changing Culture.
What I found out was so much more important than anything a Wedding Magazine would ever tell you about ‘trends’. Because this culture was so quickly evolving – with first time brides and grooms a decade older than couples marrying just a generation ago; because about a third of all weddings were not first-time weddings for one or both of the couple; because the number of brides and grooms over-forty was higher last year than ever before – in history; because we were blending families and races and religions; and perhaps because there was no guidebook – as a nation, we had discovered new and expansive ways to express ourselves in ceremony and celebration. How marvelous and life-enhancing it was.
And for me, the idea and importance of “authentic style” was truly brought home. Some of the healthiest and happiest couples I met were those who weren’t driven in any way by trends or status, but by knowing and displaying their own values and ideals. By understanding their own hearts. And by realizing that this important day would be most generously shared if they gave of themselves in a personal example of style and standards their community would find no where else.
Talk about “mid-life with a vengeance” – there, in my early fifties, emerged a book. Printed and bound, illustrated and cataloged, and available at your library and Amazon, if not your local bookshop. Some people made surprising note of the fact that at my age a new frontier could be broached. Were they the same people who seemed amazed that I would fall in love at an ‘advanced’ age? Not to mention marry? Well, we did them one better. A month ago my first novelwas published as the lead book for Spring from Henry Holt.
The Season of Second Chances is about a middle-aged woman, an ivy-league college professor, who has not found much comfort in life. When she gets a chance to start work at a new college, in a new town, with a tumble-down Victorian house that needs absolutely everything to save it, she finds at last, a reflection of her life and values. Self-expression, I get to explain once again, is its own reward. It’s a lesson I probably knew from my own childhood, but I certainly heard it loud and clear, as couples all across America showed me how they presented their lives to their families and friends, and served it all up for joyous celebration.
A house becomes another chance to do exactly that. And I think we’ve all felt the difference between a house, no matter how lovely, and a truly authentic home – one that reflects and enhances the lives lived-well within its walls. I’m here to cheer you on to make sure that your home is such a reflection. I promise you, it’s not about money or status. Not at all. It’s about taste and style and personal awareness, and confidence and clear-eyed values and thoughtful, intentional design.
To miss these chances of celebration and self-expression is to miss nothing less than the texture of life, and to misunderstand how your unique idea of joy or warmth or beauty is the most important gift you can share. The only thing, really – only you — no one else – can give.
I loved writing both of these books, and in retrospect, I recognize how very much alike they are. Both fiction and nonfiction. Makes sense, I suppose – and it all supports my theory — the thing they have in common, is uniquely — me.”
Thank you so much Diane for taking time to give us these bits of your wisdom. The italics and bolding above are mine. The point was so lovely and important for us to embrace that I had to make sure you didn’t miss it. I look forward to your next book and please feel free to stop by anytime with more of your thoughts on the richness of midlife.
One of my best friends, Chris Cavanagh, marketing director for a food and wine daily email called Tasting Table, turned 50 in March. Way back before the end of the year–actually it was over a year ago, she decided that she wanted to go somewhere, get out of dodge, take a real vacation to celebrate the auspicious date.
For her 40th we went to South Beach Florida and although it was chilly and gray most of the days we were there it didn’t matter. We were there for maybe 3 days but managed to pack in bike rides, fab dinners, night life of the strangest sort, clubbing, and cocktails by the pool wrapped up in big towels to fend off the wind. A good time was had by all.
When she picked Vegas for her 50th and asked if I was game I said yes without much thought. Then it hit me, we were going to Vegas, sin city, the 24 hour festival of excess and I’m a person who likes to be in bed by 11.
Suffice to say my fears of not having fun in Vegas–as in, been-there-done-that-once-why-go-again?–were ill founded and mostly because we planned things to do outside of the hotel.
I knew that Zappos.com was nearby and that they gave tours. When I sheepishly asked Chris is she’d entertain doing that she jumped at the idea. That was a truly inspirational tour. I highly recommend it if you are ever out that way and have a single customer.
Knowing that I love to hike, she went online and found out we do a combo hiking and rock scrambling with a guide just for us. I’m holding fast to my promise not to say anything nice about our guide Neil cause he’s so busy he can’t get a day off but I’ll tell you the company name if you ask really nicely via email. That’s us acting brave, climbing around on boulders, heart pounding but loving every minute of it. 
And one of her long time “must sees” was the Liberace museum. I have a new found admiration for all it took to become the showman he was. His costumes, many of which reside in his museum, sometimes weighed as much as 150 pounds! That’s one of the reasons he drove onto the stage.
Throw in an old boyfriend–hers–and some amazing meals, (Michael Mina’s SeaBlue and American Fish to name a couple) time to walk through casinos and marvel at the size of everything, the gym, the spa, and the laughs–oh and the many nights we managed to resist bed til around 2am or later, and we had the best time ever.
Before I left I was having feelings of guilt for going. I’d be away from my business, I was going without my husband, and on and on. When I let go of that and just allowed myself to play I realized how important it is–again. This taking time out from work, family, whatever it is that comprises our day to day is just as important to our success as nose to the grindstone.
The other important point I took away was the importance of planning. It made all the difference in our experience. We got a good travel deal, we were able to book the things of interest cause we didn’t wait til the last minute and we enjoyed the anticipation. We also left plenty of time to be spontaneous. A perfect combination and one I’m going to implement more in my day to day life.
This last picture is Chris, master sommolier William Scherer of Aureole, and moi at Aureole after our rock adventure. We clean up pretty well don’t we?
My little sister is 47. She’s a healthy person for the most part and til last Tuesday she suffered terribly each month with almost hemmorrage-like periods due to fibroids. Just like big sis here. Ten years ago I had a partial hysterectomy–newly renamed by my sister’s fabulous friend Frannie as “uterectomy”–and it changed my life for the better.
The concept of voluntarily giving up one’s uterus–to improve quality of life– is considered rational by some and a sin to others. Oprah magazine ran a long piece years ago on the evils of hysterectomy–no, really, the author, a woman, purported that this surgery was evil. There are organizations to highlight said evils and forums, including one I looked at before writing this post, at O magazine, with pages of hysteria from women who sound like god squad missionaries only in this case, a safe, routine, personal choice type of surgery is the devil.
When I was thinking of having my uterus removed so that I would no longer have to suffer days of bleeding–and bleeding through all manner of protection– kidney infections because one large fibroid sat on a ureter, back pain, a bulging stomach, and feeling like crap for 10 days every month + anemia, I spent about 6 months reading the science and considering the spiritual side compliments of Dr. Christine Northrup. I worked with an Oriental Med doc. to shrink the fibroids, balance my chi and my hormones, come to terms with the idea of not having a child etc. Once the decision was made to remove fibroids and uterus but keep the cervix and ovaries, I felt such relief I can’t tell you.
Plenty of male friends working the medical field said I should “take it all out” to prevent cancer. Huh? Do we remove layers of skin just in case we might get cancer? Would they have their bits cut off to prevent testicular cancer? I think not. Plus I wanted the protection of my hormones so I’d need ovaries to have that. I wanted the sexual benefits of keeping my cervix so I’d have to have one. Sis came to the same conclusions so off she went and I signed on to head down to Maryland to help with her many animals, make food, pour wine–if needed for pain of course.
Her C-section like surgery was so seamless that she sat in the car, the day after when she got released, for a couple of hours so she and Frannie could grab me from the airport vs me getting a cab. (No doubt the half life of morphine had not yet run out)
Fannie and a bit of Tonka
The next day she was up, slowly shuffling around. We giggled, caught up on reruns of Bones and House, ate delicious healthy meals, and day by day she got stronger. She napped a lot and while she did I had the consummate pleasure of walking her 3 pit bull rescues–that’s Fannie in the photo with me–in the woods behind her house. There are trails that go on for miles and the weather was delicious. Being a cat person who loves dogs I enjoyed playing this way.
By day 6 post surgery, Lex realized she no longer had back pain which used to wake her up at night, demanded tylenol extra strength daily, and made her work life uncomfortable due to sitting.
To the many women who feel worse after their hysterectomy than better, perhaps the surgery isn’t responsible.
And to the women who rail against choice of any kind that affects only the person making said choice, perhaps you can take that power back and use it to take care of what’s not working in your own life.
How my sister will feel long term remains to be seen but the prognosis is good.
If you or anyone you know is considering this route to improve their quality of life I say, banish any guilt that it’s an “easy way out” or that you are screwing with what’s natural. Taking an aspirin is screwing with what’s natural it’s also helpful when one has a headache. Check in with you, not the forums. Do the home work on what kinds of surgery there are and interview surgeons–don’t just take the first one you are passed along to by your insurance company unless you feel really comfortable with this person.
How you spend your second half is up to you. Now more than ever, do what feels right even if “they” say it’s not.
